Hidden Behind Skin (Alternate Version)

Sometimes I stand right in front of you.
Like a paralyzed mime, nothing I can do.
Questions and answers, I can't get to.
So I shout words, out to you.

You see me, you recognize me.
Look into my eyes, so you can see.
My thoughts become actions, I feel free.
Stopped with an idea, as I try to flee.

Only to be hidden behind skin.
Yet I am trapped within.
Stranded in my own mind.
Uncontrolled thoughts, you will find.

As I struggle within.
But it is the mind, that will win.
And break into dreams.
Lost in my mind, is how it all seems.

DISEASE

Your cheek soaked in tears
Snot, bubbles out, from your nose
It's happened for years
How it seems nobody knows
Screaming in your ears
You cry in anger at those
Who break you down inside
Tears only bring on more
You now live without fears
That day has come
Names burnt into your memory
You stand numb
Unworthiness has stained your soul
After laying in filth
What was once shame and humiliation
You now, relate to and find warmth
You are in a different place in your mind
Smiling inside as insults hit you at full speed
There seems to be a passion in them
As you are prey and they the predator
They thrive on watching you fold before them
But what do they do
When you no longer fall to pieces
To stand before them
Without emotion

My Third Quote

What a person may face in life, does not determine who they are.
How a person reacts to what they may face, will determine who they become.

August 2006

DIARY OF DARKNESS

Have you ever wrote a page
In the Diary of Darkness
Prince of death takes any age
Tells you it's ok, with a smerk of harshness...
Willing to trade your ounce of pain
For you families cup of sorrow
On the verge of insane
Scared, tired, and afraid of tomorrow...
The tears roll down your cheek
After each tear you let out a sigh
A voice, is calling, saying you are weak
After this tear is that when you die...
No one understands, as you cry alone
Your pain is well hidden, your smile not faded
Who cares, your life is unknown
You feel your friendships have been traded...
Well my friend I once wrote in this book
It's all behind me now, for more than a year
Weak I was, strength is what it took
I lived for a smile, that is why I am still here...

July 2005

IF I... WOULD YOU?

If I wrote a poem...
would you read it?
If I wrote a song...
would you sing it?
If I made a path...
would you follow it?
If I made a kite...
would you fly it?
If I spoke from the heart...
would you feel it?
If I spoke of happiness...
would you see it?
If I was a clown...
would you laugh at me?
If I were you...
would you be me?
If I built a clock...
would you make time for me?
If I built a dream...
would you share it with me?

May 2005

CHOICES, DECISIONS, & CONSEQUENCES

There are many choices
That we have to make
So much is untold
That is at stake
Create, follow or lead
Whichever you take
You are faced with decisions
That only you can make
This is something
You can not fake
It will change your life
For Heaven's sake
They are called consequences
Or maybe your cake
Every choice I have made
I can not call a mistake
With you by my side
As I awake


Written sometime in 2004

A NOTE OF THANKS

I went to the Cystic Fibrosis Memorial Banquet.
I saw a lot of friends,
Also people I hardly knew.
I did not have a ticket, nor did I leave a donation.
I didn’t share any stories or bring up old times.
I saw smiles and tears,
As I started to smile, a tear rolled off my cheek.
I heard derby stories from a distance.
The water hose in Davenport, that one was good.
I did not talk to anyone,
Nor did I shake anyone’s hand.
I touched each of you on the shoulder,
Before I took my seat at the head table.
You may have noticed... as my hands were cold.
Boy, that was a lot of pictures.
But I reckon that is only half…
…Of what my mom took.
Just a letter of thanks….
…‘Til we meet again,
I miss you all… Little Man

April 2004

THE WISH

Wasting days wishing for this and that
Thinking of me, mine and... hey get back
As a young child I quickly caught on...
The all too common wish, it was all wrong
A little brother, who at best, will always be ill
I no longer wished for this and that... for he is
Naive to the cruel path awaiting, our hearts be still...
I would often cry to sleep, thinking the thoughts
He would someday face, by the force of nature.
Why do I have to die... What did I do...
I never hurt anybody... I never wanted to...
Then the day came... and the thoughts arose...
Dying inside... and nobody knows...
All he asked for was a life and a job
When denied two simple things... if asked
He'd tell you... I'm glad it's me and not you.
Him looking up to me, ended up twisted around.
A man of men, I look up to him and proud.
He passed out more smiles than "The Clown"
A little brother at best... a Hero at the least.

November 10, 2003

LITTLE MAN

The will of "Little Man"
Who lived for all he could
An artist of smiles
And painting them on faces
A mechanic of comedy
And only working for laughs
A Doctor of love
With many of patients
Oh so humble, with all his pride
Too much to do, in such a short time
If you need a hand, I reckon two will do
Traveling so many miles
Yet seeing so few places
Dying inside, crying to sleep
Nowhere to hide, from one lonely fear
My little brother, more man than me
The kindness of life, beaten by death
One donation away, did not get the call
Last words on earth... I love you all.

November 8, 2003

9/30/02

Sometimes I see things that I shouldn't
And maybe you do things that you wouldn't
You just watch me fall into stupidity
And I fall and crumble back to reality
You scream yet somewhere smiling
Though the memories are thriving
We are the ones losing
As our paths of love keep crossing
What is carved in stone, was once modeling clay
If within we become the artist, nothing will part us
Reject our fears, follow our dreams, shaping our days
Wiping our tears, sewing our seems, changing our ways

September 30, 2002

THE GRAND EQUATION

I am why....
We are all one though we are not, one
We are all a product of time
We are divided by them, as they join us
They are variables, if they can,
They may change, without warning,
Forever changing the future,
Soon to be the past, as we are,
Only a blink, in the eye of time.
You may think that we are here,
Sharing our time together,
Never asking why or how,
In the equation of time,
I am y another variable of the endless quest,
Throughout the sands of time,
Not to know how or why we share this place,
In our silent personal history.
Although it is just shy of a miracle
That we breathe the same air.

NO DATE

AND THEY LIVE

These words are like lyrics
Coming from spirits
The waves they are sending
Are confusing and mind bending
Their motives are not clear
Which way should I steer
For the life they crave
From beyond the grave
Could it be the ghost
That is missing the most
Their deaths were the cost
Of the bodies they lost
The unexplained is haunting
It is the spite that is taunting
From life they were parted
Not finishing what they started
Their sotries must be told
To let them grow old
Memories of the keeper
outlast the work of the Reaper

October 26, 2000

WHAT YOU FEEL

I want you to feel
The love, in my touch
And to think, of it as such.
I want you to see, my heart
Through my eyes
For this is where, the truth lies.
Those sweet soft kisses
Is merely love, changing faces
In the many, spontaneous places.
I labeled a rose as your symbol
For your bliss, and sorrow
Yet learning, hence bettering tomorrow.
Anyone can see your glamour
But not everyone, knows
The trace, of a red rose.
Like forecasting the weather
Are the feelings, of thee
Emotions in words, the nature in me.
Just a simple hug, is a passionate link
So what you feel, is all in the way you think.

October 11, 2000

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM

Living the life
Of a midnight Romeo
Listenin' to the people
Sayin' I told ya so
Gettin' a way with
A one night show
But you're the only one's
With your eyes closed
What ya don't know
Is that everyone knows
Open your eyes
Come out of the dream
Ya gotta shoot for the top
To get the cream
Everything in life
Is not mainstream
No matter what ya believe
Or how it may seem
IF ya want the best
Dream a little dream

September 8, 2000

AND IT"S ALL GOOD

Ya treat me, bad
When I treat ya, good
Ya don't understand
What should be, understood.
I showed ya the life
That I said I would
When ya crush the heart
Ya only get scars and blood.
How ya, live the lie
And say, it's good
Twisted, sadistic love
Goin' where no one should.
I tried to make it right
Now I know, no one could
For awhile, I'll be unhappy
While ya, say your good.
But ya missed out
On something, ya should
And I'm left to understand
What should be, understood.

September 8, 2000

ONE DAY

At the break of day
The mornings new light.
Getting on our way
The sun shining bright.
Making daily goals
Not knowing the powers.
Of forever changing souls
Throughout the days hours.
For the people we touch
With us never to know.
Just how much
We help each other grow.
In such little time
Of just one day.
There is too much crime
We must find some way.
Let the night be kind
The future is ours.
Where the sun once shined
Is nothing but stars

June 2000

SHADES OF GREY

I have seen the joy
I have seen the pain
Last night I felt like a little boy
Left standing out in the rain.
I cried for awhile
Then learned to be tough
Like walking a mile
Uphill in the rough.
If you want something to last
Treat it as though
You've learned from your past
And can let things go.
For something you want to keep
Let the feelings be shown
Though the tracks may be deep
The true path is unknown.
We are not black and white
For lies will start and truths will stray
How can we find a princess or knight
When we are all shades of grey.

May 26, 2000

LOOK AROUND YOU...

In the hottest summer sun
In the coldest rain
Everything so odd
Is just a piece of the chain
Look around you... What do you see?
It the hottest passion of love
In the coldest rage of hate
Life will pass you by
If all you do is wait
Look around you... What do you see?
Keeping your friends
Through life's changes
working through it all
Reaching solutions of all ranges
Look around you... What do you see?
Raising your goals
Reaching out to others
Touching their souls
Look around you... What do you see?

May 2, 2000

IN MY LIFE

In my eyes
When they are closed
It's your face
That clearly shows.
In my mind
It is known
You are the one
I want to Hold.
In my soul
I can not find
Any Reason
To let you go.
In my heart
It is warm
To comfort you
When You are cold.
In my life
I hope you see
That with you
I want to be.

May 2, 2000

TRACE OF A RED ROSE

The soft petals
Compare to your skin,
A bud is life in hiding
And where no one gets in.
Leaves are the accent
Like the few feelings you show,
Thorns are your safety
So no one will know.
That you are reaching for the sky
Yet not trying to get too close,
The color shows your beauty
And Trace of a red rose.
When you reach full bloom
You will let your heart go,
To open up to the person
Who wants to know.
The beautifl flower
Past the pain of the thorn,
Pulling two hearts together
Where true love is born.

April 12, 2000